Get Frustrated
A collection of lessons from my father about success: perseverance and gratitude in times of disappointment.
“His journey and the advice he has given me are not just words but lessons in love and strength that will continue to inspire and uplift me even in the darkest times.”
Life wasn't always easy for my dad. Growing up an immigrant who moved to the U.S., he was trying to find who he was while his parents were struggling. My dad told me stories of how much my grandparents worked to support him and his brothers. My grandmother, along with working her regular job, would make circuit boards for more money. She did this at night when my dad went to bed with his big ambitions. He grew up having to learn everything himself, and he set his expectations. Whatever people expected of him, he expected higher. My grandparents sacrificed so much for my dad, but they couldn’t be there in his life sometimes. He wanted to give his children a better life. When I asked him how he achieved that goal, he told me that he “persevered, never gave up, but never forgot who he was and where he was from.” Often, early on, he found himself working on things he didn't feel passionate about, so he stopped. He told me to find out who Michael Seoh is.
I’m glad he told me this because I used to be afraid to be myself, to make myself happy. Have you ever tried to be someone you weren’t meant to be? I tried to be like the superheroes in my comic books, pushing away my emotions, thinking they had no meaning. Now, I see that what I want is what matters the most. If things don’t make me happy, why do I keep doing them? I sacrificed my time and life for things that didn’t bring me joy. But what do I do after I have found what I like? My dad then taught me the importance of goals.
He told me that I have to fight through adversity. Pain and suffering, he says, are lessons. Everything takes work. To achieve the highest level, I need to sacrifice my time and energy. It might take me a long time to jump high or do things at an elite level, but if I try my best to get better every day, I will eventually succeed. This reminded me of the time when I was young and wanted to play for a soccer club. I tried my best, but I didn't make the team. So, each week after that, I practiced harder. By the end of the week, I was a little bit better than the week before. I tried out again, only to be met with failure.
My dad taught me a lesson right after I figured out I didn't make the team for the second time. He told me that if I improved by 1 percent every day, that 1 percent would add up, and soon, I would be extremely good at what I do. I knew that I would face struggle, frustration, and pain if I wanted to get on the team. So, I practiced that summer like a madman. I wanted that spot on the team so badly, I wouldn't let anyone else take it from me. Then, after weeks of perseverance through the bad days, frustration, and muscle cramps, it was time for tryouts. This time, I made the team. So what was the secret?
When I was growing up, my dad gave me a book called Atomic Habits. The author, James Clear, says that although you think you will grow better every day linearly, in reality, it is more of a J-shaped line. The area where the J-shaped line is lower than the linear line is called the “valley of disappointment,” where most people tend to quit or give up. How do we get past this frustration?
The power of tiny gains shows the power of compound growth.
When I asked him, he didn't give me an answer right away. After some good thought, he responded with “always be grateful because when you're feeling low, you’ve got to realize what you have. Gratitude will help you ignore the fact that you're not growing as fast as you want to.” Sometimes, I fail to realize how much fun I have doing sports. One particular moment was when I was stressing out about how I wasn’t performing the way I wanted to at my basketball championship game. My shots were just not going in! I started to get frustrated, and the anger got to my head. My dad could tell and told the coach to pull me out. I sat on the bench and I started to think about the joy basketball gave me. I calmed myself down. I forgot about my failed shots and was back to enjoying basketball itself. To improve, you need to fail. I knew that games like these would help me grow in both basketball and in life. I realized that I have the tools to succeed, and my father has given them to me.
My dad's story and lessons have shifted my definition of what it means to live a successful life. I used to think being rich and famous was being successful, but now I think otherwise. These lessons from my dad’s life story have given me a new outlook on life. His experiences and wisdom guide me through my challenges with resilience, self-awareness, and a grateful heart. His journey and the advice he has given me are not just words but lessons in love and strength that will continue to inspire and uplift me even in the darkest times. His story shows the power of perseverance and gratitude, which will help shape my path to success.
